and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
