i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize