Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize