So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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