Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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