That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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