I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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