Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dear god my vagina.
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