Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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