i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We just shotgunned beers for America
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
