Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
