question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
only you would photoshop your dick
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
