At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
