She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
