I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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