you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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