i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
