Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize