I'm eating all of the evidence.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
