cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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