I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
