Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
