More tranny stories later!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
