You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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