i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
