stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
