i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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