Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
