my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
