she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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