Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
