In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize