Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i now understand why vodka
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
