Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
