Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
