halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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