Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
