I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
