My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
