I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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