we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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