My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
