I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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