You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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