please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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