Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
