Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
