he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
