I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
