Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize