I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
