well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
