guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
