All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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