If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
