sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
