so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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