just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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