just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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