I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
