I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
