i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
